Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
