So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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