dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
