conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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