like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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