So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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