rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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