Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
