Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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