Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
