youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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