I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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