I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
