I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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