I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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