So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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