For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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