hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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