never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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