we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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