She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize