you would pick up someone in the library
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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