Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
