he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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