I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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