I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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