I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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