I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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