so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You had me at "let me see your balls"
How does it feel to date your dad?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
