naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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