I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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