You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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