She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Come share oat with me in your robe
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
