Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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