just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize