oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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