Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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