she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize