Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
