question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
