i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
What drink are we having for lunch?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
