Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize