You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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