I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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