I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
