Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
