Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
