She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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