She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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