I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
