You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
