Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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