So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
