On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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