had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
