But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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