When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Randomize
