Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
be right there i have to get my cape
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
