Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I wish there were birth control emojis
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
